The Amazing Detroit Lions...

I have serious issues, and I need to go to rehab...

Hi, my name is Debbie and I am addicted to the train wreck that is the one and only, Detroit Lions. Was I shocked last year when the Lions were a shoe-in for the Super Bowl with their 6-2 record and they managed to methodically smash all my hopes and dreams one game at a time on their way to a final record of 7-9?? I emphatically answer that question with a big fat "NO". Why was I not shocked, you ask...well, as many of you probably know, the Lions have been quite terrible for quite a long time. As quickly as they give you any glimmer of hope, they just as quickly swipe it away with a series of disatrous draft picks, horrifying plays, and promising players that continually fail to live up to expectations. Is a .500 season to much to ask? We, the fan base of the Detroit Lions, will be easy to please...after a continual stream of disappointments, even a mediocre season will seem like a miracle!

For those of you not familiar with the roller coaster of emotions that is is to be a fan of the Lions, let me use this week as an example...

To set the scene - It's a beautiful Sunday afternoon...a game against the Vikings in Minnesota. The Lions were a 13.5 point underdog (which probably has something to do with the fact that in the previous 4 games, the opponents were able to score a total of 87 points before the Lions were able to score). With a spread like that, all logic indicates that the Lions are about to get smoked by the Vikings....I am demoralized.

(1) The Lions show a spark on defense - finally, it looks like we've learned how to tackle! Could this be the turning point of the season?!?!? My hopes are high...there's a smile on my face!

(2) Orlovsky...hmmm...you know the white lines around the edge of the field, I'm sure you've seen them once or twice. Well the purpose of these amazing white lines is to create a border, within which you must remain while playing the game. The Lions broke an NFL record on Sunday by becoming the first team in NFL history to get an unforced safety. Way to go Lions! I am again demoralized.

(3) The Lions come back in the 2nd quarter and score a field goal! GO LIONS! Truly amazing...their first lead of the season. I am over-joyed!

(4) The Lions manage to lose the game 12-10...by 2 points. How many points do you get for a safety...oh yeah, it's 2. So demoralized....although trying to keep a positive outlook, I focus on the fact that they didn't get blown out.

(5) The trade deadline. Could there be a glimmer of hope in the management of the Lions? I think there is! Somehow the Lions managed to squeeze not one, not two, but THREE draft picks out of the Dallas Cowboys for Roy Williams. And on top of that, it's a combo of a 1st, 3rd and 6th round picks....personally I would have been happy with only a 3rd round pick for Roy, so naturally I am once again a happy camper.

(6) Unbelievable....I didn't think my next disappointment with the Lions would come until Sunday, but it looks as though I am not so lucky. The Lions have announced that they are starting Foster over Cherilus...REALLY!?!?! Why?? Are you really trying to salvage an 0-5 season? Wouldn't the smart coaching decision be to let the rookie get some experience?? LIONS...at this point, you should be coaching for next year. This year is a bust...the least you can do is try to make yourselves better for next year!

I am at a loss for words...we have Houston this Sunday. Is it possible that the Lions can squeeze out a win against the Texans this week? According to the roller-coaster theory, I'm due for an upswing! Keep your fingers crossed......or just start drinking heavily and maybe you won't remember the game.